After last week’s forest sexy time and subsequent outing, we all knew the trip to the convent was coming and that bad things were in store for Isabel. Little did we know that they were very, very bad things.
Isabel is gently being led through the convent to her own private creeper, nun hell. On the way, she makes eye contact with another “resident” who by the way, has a terrible short haircut. Couldn’t the nuns have given her something stylish? They really are trying to deter any sort of secret lesbian trysts. Please don’t let that be in store for Isabel. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. Please.
Eventually, Isabel ends up indoors and has three nuns surrounding her with the Reverend Mother looking on from the shadows. Isabel can totally take down three nuns. Fight! Fight! Fight! No? Oh. The nuns begin to remove Isabel’s clothes (which I really didn’t see coming) as the head mother explains that Isabel will be taking a vow of silence and fasting until her body is free of sin. As Isabel resists the nun exclaims:
Reverend Mother: SILENCE! One week of fasting. And if you speak again, I will make them cut your hair.
The look on Isabel’s face here pretty accurately describes what we’re all feeling.
After Isabel is completely stripped naked, they leave her in the room and demand that her clothes be burned. Don’t wanna catch the gay! That’s how I sterilize my things, I burn them so they DON’T EXIST ANYMORE. Kind of like feelings. This scene ends with our first encounter with the ring leader of creepdom. She looks Isabel up and down with a smirk. I’ve never seen such a creepy lesbian predator and judging by the look on her face, Isabel hasn’t either. She is positively shocked and terrified. (It’s okay Isabel, your legions of Crisabel fans are supporting you in spirit. I predict that the ring leader of creepdom will meet an unfortunate end for treating you so poorly. That’s just how the universe works.)
Isabel is sleeping soundly on the cement floor. She kind of has a smile on her face which made me feel like Isabel got to go somewhere else for awhile. I immediately thought she must be dreaming of Cristina. That’s who I’d dream of if I were stuck somewhere awful. She’s like a blanket of wonderful, lesbian comfort. Unfortunately, Isabel’s beauty sleep is violently interrupted as she’s pulled by her feet to a kneeling position. The nuns are here to wash Isabel of her sin with mother effin’ ice water. When I heard the words “agua helado”, I shuddered. Getting violently splashed in the face with water is bad enough…but ice water? That’s gotta hurt. I read a post from someone somewhere on one of the many Crisabel fan boards that this scene reminded them of a Clean and Clear commercial. That totally made me laugh out loud.
I wonder how many times Adriana Torrebejano had to get hit in the face with that water. That’s gotta suck. Isabel gets pissed and threatens:
Isabel: You will regret this when my father finds out.
Reverend Mother: Silence! Your father is the one who brought you here.
Dig the knife a little deeper why don’t you? Just in case everyone forgot, Isabel has lost everything and the nuns aren’t going to let her forget how shitty her life is. Cool.
Isabel’s looking pretty bad now. She’s curled up in her “cell” with her head resting on her knees. I’m not sure how much time has passed, but no food, isolation, and regular ice water to the face will probably take a toll on just about anyone’s physical health. As the door on the other side of her cell opens, we see the ring leader of creepdom standing in the doorway. My heart sank deep down into my stomach when I saw her. That woman is really great at playing this character. I hope she can get a date/has friends outside of Tierra de Lobos because I think I would run screaming in the other direction if I ever encountered her in real life.
The Reverend Mother enters and asks Isabel is she has repented for her sins, if she’s willing to sacrifice, and if she recognizes her perversion. Isabel responds that she has to all of the questions. Except for one. The reverend mother asks:
Reverend Mother: Do you reject the person that led you to sin?
Isabel pauses and looks visibly hurt by the question. Even though she thinks Cristina is dead, she can’t reject her.
Reverend Mother: Say it! Say it or your mouth will remain stained. (heh heh heh) Say that you reject that depraved woman.
Isabel has tears in her eyes and although she knows it is against any sort of plan that will get her out of the convent…she just can’t do it.
Isabel: She loved me.
Reverend Mother: Sinner…how can you call this aberration love?
As the Reverend Mother is looking to start a fight with Isabel, one of the other nuns interrupts them.
Other nun: Mother, a woman is asking for her. We told her to leave but she insisted. Her name is Cristina.
Isabel is ecstatic. Well, I mean as ecstatic as one could be in her situation. She knows that Cristina is alive! Unable to contain her excitement she exclaims, “Está viva!” (She’s alive!) over and over again despite being beat by the reverend mother every time she does so. Isabel has found her courage in love to be defiant in the face of adversity. The Reverend Mother is piiiiiiiiiissed. She narrows her eyes and says, “It’s time to punish her.” Aw HELL NO.
Two nuns are putting Isabel in chains that are hanging from the ceiling. Her arms are raised above her head and she is at the mercy of whatever the nuns wish to do to her. The Reverend Mother lets her know that she’s a big old sinner blah blah blah WE GET IT and that she needs to be punished. I’m seeing a pattern here. (Did I mention this is a totally uplifting and gay affirming episode? Yeah. That’s sarcasm.)
The ring leader of creepdom begins to lift up Isabel’s potato sack dress so the Reverend Mother has easy access to her legs. Uhhhh. I didn’t know where the episode was going at this point but I didn’t want it to go THERE. And thankfully it didn’t go where I thought it was going. Unfortunately, it still went somewhere awful. The reverend mother wraps (what I’m assuming is) a belt with spikes on the inside to Isabel’s left thigh. As she tightens the strap, Isabel’s leg begins to bleed and so the torture begins. The reverend mother orders the ring leader of creepdom to put “the rest” on Isabel. I don’t know how many more “the rest” is, but just have to be alone with creeper lady is torture enough. Yikes.
Nieves and Almudena are shopping for the wedding with Tata and Cristina is looking on from the shadows. As Tata walks in the back room, Cristina casually walks up to the two sisters and gets their attention. Cristina explains that Isabel is in trouble and that they need to help her. The girls are obviously a bit confused believing that Isabel went of her own choice. Cristina sets them straight and says that it was actually Lobo that forced her into it. The Lobo sisters are now seeming a little impatient and wonder how Cristina knows their father and why he’d do this. (Oh ho ho, if they only knew half of the story.)
Cristina: Because he knows that Isabel and I…
Nieves: What. (impatiently)
Cristina: That we are in love.
I really fell in love with Cristina (even more) when she said this. It was incredibly brave of her to not only try and approach Isabel’s sisters but to also completely divulge their secret. I’m such a proud gay lady. Then Nieves delivers one of the best lines I’ve ever heard in response to someone coming out:
Nieves: In love? In love with whom?
Cristina:I started it. I seduced her. And then I fell in love with her. Just like she fell in love with me.
Cristina is beaming here. She’s just happy to talk about Isabel. But, even as an out gay lady – I would think Cristina’s story was crazy. It is sort of a star-crossed lovers story. The sisters don’t look amused.
Nieves: What are you talking about, you filth?
Cristina: I don’t expect you to understand it…but Isabel never asked for this.
Cristina: None of this is her fault and now that your father knows about it, he will never forgive this.
Nieves: That’s enough! I will not let a dirty whore like you defile my sister’s name. Do you hear? Get out!
Almudena: Didn’t you hear my sister?
Cristina: (desperately) You have to believe me!
Nieves: I said get out.
Cristina looks really defeated here. My heart just broke for her. She really put herself out on the line again and majorly got shot down. I’m tired of that happening to Cristina, can’t someone just help a sistah out? But seriously, how amazing is it that Cristina risked her life to hang around Tierra de Lobos to try and get Isabel out? These two ladies make such a great couple – always saving each others lives and stuff.
Later, the two sisters discuss their encounter with Cristina in the store and wonder if what she says could be true. They figure the only way they can find out the truth is straight from Isabel. Also, I kind of fell in love with Almudena here. The two sisters approach Lobo and determine that they really do need to pay a visit to the convent to find out themselves. They sneak off and lie to Lobo about where they’re going.
Isabel is sitting on a bench hunched over. She looks like crap. Isabel wonders if something has happened and explains that her sisters shouldn’t be there. The Reverend Mother hovers in the background monitoring everything Isabel says to her sisters.
Almudena: We talked to Cristina.
Isabel’s eyes flicker a bit. We can see on a small scale her reaction to the fact that her sisters know about her and Cristina now but understands she has to contain whatever emotions she feels about that.
Isabel: That woman is the devil and my sin is too great.
Nieves: So it’s true.
The two sisters stare straight ahead in shock. Yup, your sister’s gay. And she’s AWESOME. Isabel just looks down at the ground. Being outed sucks, you guys.
Almudena: That doesn’t matter now. What matters is for you to be well. Father can’t have you locked in here forever.
Isabel: Almudena, father has done the right thing. I’ve seen the light. This is my place now.
Almudena: We’ll talk to father and we’ll get you out of here…no matter how.
Isabel: No. Everything I lived before coming here was a mistake. I don’t want to go back. I know that if I stay, I will mend my sin. I need to follow our Lord’s teachings.
Isabel then slides a bible over to Almudena explaining that it can be of help to her sisters. The Reverend Mother runs up and grabs it and starts to shake it checking for any secret messages she was trying to hide in there. Nothing falls out so she hands it over to the Lobo sisters and says it’s time for them to go. Isabel clutches her sister’s hand and says, “I hope the Lord will enlighten you.” At this point, I hope all ya’ll understand that this is secret sister code.
The sister’s leave the convent pretty confused. (As a side note, I really love how Almudena is totally not concerned with Isabel being into ladies. I also love how she pretty much blows off Nieves’ freak out session about it.) It doesn’t take them long to start checking out the bible that Isabel handed to them. As they search the text, they find words highlight in blood. As they thumb through, a secret message appears:
Help get me out of this hell.
Couldn’t read a more clear message sister to sister than that. Me thinks the Lobo sisters are going to stage a break out! (Also, I saw the previews and that’s exactly what’s gonna happen.) We gons to burn some biatches.
I’m not sure how the writers are going to keep Cristina and Isabel together now that Cristina is banned from Tierra de Lobos and Isabel is a big lesbo. But, I’m really interested to see what path they choose. Perhaps our ladies can convince the town that being gay is totally natural and awesome. That way, they’d just be another adorbs lesbian couple living with their two dogs on a ranch down the street. Right? Hey, it could happen.
Scenes from this episode:
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